Bestill My 12 Year Old Heart...

Percy Jackson and the Olympians is a youth book series that I fully enjoy. Yes, I realize that I read more kid's lit than adult lit now (Harry Potter, I blame you), but what's the fun in life if you can't regress?

This movie looks pretty good, but I have a few beefs with it.

A)... Percy Jackson (the kid with the pen) is TWELVE YEARS OLD in the first book. His age plays a pretty significant part in the series plot, so the fact that this young man's testes have undoubtedly descended gives me pause.

B) Steve Coogan is Hades? Boromir is Zeus? Well, Boromir I can handle. (yes yes, Sean Bean, I KNOW his real name)... but Steve Coogan isn't... hmmmm... EVILLLLL enough to be the God of the Dead for me, which is really just a symptom of a larger issue- NONE of the casting looks like I imagined them. I will confess I hold this to the gold standard, Harry Potter, in which most of the characters are realized the way I imagined them back in 2000. Jesus, I'm old.

C) This guy is Ares (who should also have more of a role than "uncredited" suggests). While I expected most of the gods to be, well, older (many are not), this guy? God of War? More like God of Donuts and Looking Sorta Like William Shatner.

I don't know, folks. In a period in which Where the Wild Things Are and the Fantastic Mr. Fox are generating Oscar and nostalgia buzz, could we have given this more effort? Am I overthinking it?

It's Definitely Tim Burton-y

Anyone else a little sad that Tim Burton has such a hard-on for CGI these days? The magic of Edward Scissorhands and Beetlejuice was that they were surreal and dark with a minimum of film fakery.

I'm not saying I won't go see it, but I think the live action Alice in Wonderland standard was set with the 1985 made for TV. You know, the one where Carol Channing turns into that freaky-ass goat.

Trailer Extravaganza!!

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON trailer in HD


The MTV Movie Awards debuted some clips important to the tween in me this weekend, and hello, Jailbait Jacob! It doesn't look like the acting is much improved, but I do appreciate that the camera isn't thisclose to Bella and Edward's face. Interesting...looks like Bella finds out about Jacob (BTW- happy tree friend snuggly?) much earlier.


Also- a new clip from Harry Potter! whee!!! I'm crazy excited, especially as this is pretty close to how I pictured this moment in the books.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Yes, Please! Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

This direct to video film may be just the vehicle to boost Debbie Gibson's star right back into the limelight! Maybe not Electric Youth limelight, but at least fading star Playboy limelight.

A Mega Shark! That destroys airplanes and the Golden Gate Bridge (that thing is under serious movie-fire lately, wtf?)! A Giant Octopus! That takes out an oil rig! oooohhh.... I see what's going on here. This is going to end up with an environmental message, isn't it.

Lorenzo Lamas, you're poisoning the sea with your hair oil, and the thawed, prehistoric beasties aren't going to take it anymore!

Pre-Order your copy today!

All Hail the Return of Star Trek!

Key inclusions for any successful sci-fi film:

1. Impending doom on a globally recognized monument (Golden Gate Bridge go boom!).

2. Barren planets (for a minute I could have SWORN we were on Hoth).

3. Protagonist/Antagonist duel above an inexplicably vast drop... inside a ship.

4. Vaginal creeper monster (hello, facehugger from Alien. I'm looking at you).

5. Quasi-annoying, family-friendly creature sidekick (Jar-Jar). Thank blog JJ Abrams made this one a mute.

The new Star Trek has them all, friends and lovers, along with a healthy dose of self-awareness. There are enough jokes at the expense of the original series to show that EVERYONE realizes the campy background from whence the legend sprung (Kirk getting busy with a green-skinned alieness? check.).

However, while there are plenty of insider Trekkie jokes to be had, this truly is the Star Trek for everyone. Abrams and company reinvent the backstory with clever use of time travel and alternate realities (I swear, there IS a Lost tie-in to be had), creating a plot that allows everyone to start at chapter one.

Nero, a Romulan with severe space paranoia has declared vengeance on Spock for an act he commits in the future. Waiting patiently, Nero and his big, spidery ship jump through a worm-hole, altering the events in the lives of our key members of the Enterprise crew. Surprisingly, the time travel is not the main plot arc, but merely the vehicle in which Abrams allows the creation of his Starfleet universe to exist. Naturally, the main plot arc is bringing down the big baddy Nero, and fun, fights and phasers ensue.

The actors look just enough like the original characters that it is believable that they could grow up to look like Shatner and Nimoy, though there was a point at which I started to mourn my youth, looking at these fresh young faces. And I'm not yet 30. It's almost like the cast of Gossip Girl stormed the bridge.

All in all, Sequels are imminent, and I must say, in this case, I'm actually looking forward to them.

PS- told you the facehugger looked like a scary vagina.