Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A Solid Reason to Keep Your Phone on Silent***

I am a fiend for Missed Connections. They're a little romantic, plenty wistful, and the idea that you can have one of those brief little crushes that make your day makes mine. I've spent a considerable amount of time on public transportation in my life.  During that captive time on a train and/or a bus it's pretty easy to develop a crush on your co-riders. It's not about who that person really is, but rather the story you create around that person.  "He's carrying canvases!  I wonder if he's an artist."  "He's wearing absolutely ridiculous mittens! He would wear my craftsssssssss!"

Which is why I love Much like Missed Connections, it's romantic, wistful, and more than a little creepy. It's all guys right now, which, you know. Takes away that "Maybe I'll be on here!!" moment. It's cool though. For know I'll live for the day that I can say "I know that guy!!"

Looking through the vast diversity of the posted Transit Crushes, it also proves to me that there really is someone for everyone... we just may not know it.  So the next time you're on the El, enjoy the possibility that it may not just be the homeless guy not wearing any pants that thinks you're dreamy.
***You know. so they can't hear the photo sound when you surreptitiously take their picture while pretending to text someone. Also, you're on public transportation. Be respectful and shit. No one wants to hear your fart ringtone.

It's a Vagina, Right?

Floral Skull

So I was on Spoonflower today looking for skull fabrics... and I came across this design by lisa_godfrey. Don't get me wrong, she has some talent.  But this is ladyparts, right? I can't tell if I'm having a Freudian flashback to all of the Georgia O'Keeffe prints in every single therapist's office I've been in, or if this is intentional.

Also, good god, do I love Spoonflower. I've been on it for a couple of years now- it's a website that allows you to upload your own design and print it on a fabric.  It even allows you to edit your image (colors, repeat on the fabric, etc), which is nice if you're like me and don't have Corel or Photoshop and the like. 

There are some incredibly talented designers on there, creating individual designs and using this website as an opportunity to showcase their skill. Much like Zazzle, a designer is able to post their fabrics for sale, and earn a commission on each purchase.  I genuinely hope some previously unknown designers are getting some traction.

Then there are people like me. People who particularly enjoy the ability to break copyright law all over the place to make one of a kind fabric.  I'm not selling it though, so I think I'm in the clear. I JUST WANT TO MAKE A DR HORRIBLE QUILT IS THAT SO WRONG

drhorrible-light blue

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Lupercalia!

I have a terrible track record with Valentine's Day.  I don't hate it, but you know, I roll solo. And bitter things are funny. So, as we do each year, let's celebrate with!

Monday, January 23, 2012

But Cashmere Is So Hard to Clean...

I'm all for having things feel nice down by my lady bits, but a pair of cashmere undies seems less than desirable. Swampy, even. Do you wear undies under these undies? How do you keep them, you know, clean? They have a cotton gusset, so maybe they aren't SO bad? (PS... that's one of my favorite words... "gusset." Just thinking that someone at sometime in lingerie history came up with a word to describe that piece of your underwear that sits on your hooch, and then made it sound like the skeeviest, most onomatopoetic word in history delights me to no end. GUSSET.) Is this a wool fetish thing? Is it a hipster thing?  Judging by the other items in the Etsy shop... I'm thinking it's a hipster thing. Which annoys me all the more, and just proves that I'm getting to be a super crabby old lady, alienated by today's annoying youth. Except hipsters aren't so young. What the fuck is the deal, hipsters?  Why do you always dress so ironically? Why do you look so destitute, yet have the best electronic devices available on the market? What the fuck is the deal with Bon Iver? Why are you always barefoot? Why are you always roaming around in packs? Are you homeless? Are you all living (read: squatting) in some sort of supergreen (filthy) upcycled (abandoned) community property (warehouse) by the docks?


Stay off my lawn, you dirty-footed circus people.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

You Know Why I Smile A Lot? Because It's Worth It.

You may already know about these.  I found the first one about a month or two ago and I have been quoting them both ever since.  I think they're a pretty good note on which to bring 2011 to a close.  Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Little Things Delight Me.

Original (well. Of the 2nd half of the next video):

These kids A Capella version:

Come on. I love it. I love it so much it makes me giggle and squee like a prize idiot. 

Monday, November 28, 2011

We're Excellent Bartenders.

Left to our own devices, my co-worker Raf and I can come up with several hijinks.  Everything from Office Squash with a mini Nerf Football to doing Charlie Brown dances to the "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown" soundtrack, Rafael is a master of entertaining me. Our latest?  Making new drinks. 

Behold the birth of the Smelly Irishman:

BIRV:  1oz Irish Whiskey, pint of Guinness and the sweat of a New York (Chicago is acceptable) Police officer, shaken in a wet fisherman's sweater. Pour, garnish with 3 lucky charms and the hair of an Irish Setter. Serve.

RAF: 1 oz. Irish Cream

1 Boiled potato
2 leprechaun farts
2 oz. Irish Whiskey
1 steamed cabbage leaf
4 oz. Guinness
1oz. McDonald’s Shamrock Shake
2 oz. corned beef
Blend or shake in a 16 oz. tumbler (this can only be done by a red haired Irishman to be considered a true “Smelly Irishman”) Lift glass…Scream out “O' be jaysus” while shaking your fist…chug and slam! You have now been graced with a Smelly Irishman! oh yeah, add a pinch of salt!