Monday, November 30, 2009
Is anyone else kind of over it this season? I kind of don't care about the show right now... it's almost like work to watch the shows that backed up on the Tivo in the past few weeks. There's a few things I can attribute to my apathy.
1. Dancer Hype. They have been touting the dancers of Season 6 as THE BEST dancers ever, and frankly, I'm not seeing it. Once Billy Bell left (before the first episode!), I couldn't see anyone that could hold a candle to Katee and Joshua from season 4, or Travis, or Brandon from last year. I feel cheated.
2. Choreographer Burn-Out, or Where the Hell Is Mia? Mia Michaels left the show in rather abrupt fashion, and the dances from the remaining choreographers seem a little...tired. Wade and Travis are still good, but Stacey Tookey's last dance (that I saw) looked like a pale re-make of Travis' heart dance from last season, Sonya is just being Sonya, that woman with the headphones just annoys the heck outta me, and no one likes the Quick-Step. Do I just not know enough about dance to notice when something is plain but technically brilliant? Or do I just not care? This sort of leads me into the last category...
3. Too Soon!! Beginning Season 6 on the heels of Season 5, with overlapping auditions certainly seems to have worn out the judges, and it is apparently beginning to wear on me. I can't tell if So You Think You Can Dance is a show I love in the summer simply because nothing else is on, or if I'm just tired of eating the same meal every night, so to speak. I believe it's a mix of both... my expectations of summer programming are much lower in than fall (it's the difference between watching Merlin and FlashForward, or eating Hamburger Helper vs Filet Mignon- hungry? yes. I am.). I expect repeats, trashy reality tv, and throw-away series that the network decides to give a modest chance. In the fall, I expect new episodes of favorite shows, creative shows with teams of clever writers, and the shows the networks feel are their best bet for a hit. So You Think You Can Dance falls into the mindless summer trashy reality for me.
As for eating the same meal every night...it's too much!! SYTYCD has a run time of 3 hours per week, if you add in the results show. With scores of new programming on each network, devoting 3 hours of my time to one show EACH WEEK is excessive, and has been putting the show last on my tv "to do" list (yes, I actually have one).
Anyone else feel the same?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Which we did. And then bought the soundtrack on tape. And played it in our room all the time. One particularly giddy night, BFF and I were skipping down the hall of our dorm singing Jellicle Cats. I wish we could say we were drunk or high, but we sure weren't. Just made of awesome.
Our dorm was weird, and had 2 steps up in the middle of the hallway, then 2 steps down about 20 feet away for no reason. As BFF and I tried to skip up the steps, I made it and kept dancing down the hall. BFF... didn't. I turned, because she was no longer by me, and watched in horror as BFF pinballed down the hallway: hitting one wall, and then, desperately trying to right herself, caroming off the other, only to fall in great somersaulting fashion.
I swear TO THIS DAY it happened in slow motion. BFF's eyes never left mine; her face horrified and her head shaking as if to say, "There's no way I can get out of this one." I did nothing to help her... I was too far away. And laughing WAY too hard.
Moral of the story? Never dance down the hall in your shower shoes.
Don't feel too bad for BFF. Later that night, during our only round of blood-sport Frisbee with our friend Gabe, I took a frisbee to the face (I'm not... coordinated). I also fell off the 3 foot garden wall as I was trying to make a super-sweet jump to get the frisbee that had fallen over the side. Didn't quite stick the landing.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Seriously. Who watches wrestling? Who watches old dudes wrestling? There's apparently some people that think this fight was real, but I call shenanigans, as Hulk Hogan (age 56) and Ric Flair (age 60... 60!!!! THAT'S MY DAD'S AGE) have wrestled before...in 1994... and apparently Ric Flair is coming out of retirement. How do I know all this, do you ask? No. I don't watch wrestling. Wikipedia, my friends!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
This guy Stefan, who I think is in France, at least, there's a lot of french in the background, (who should become my French sci-fi watching bestie) is following his Stormtroopers around for a year.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Never one to do stupid things in a half-assed manner, I press on. So what if sweat is pooling in my cleavage, as well as dripping down my back? This kind of strapless bra beauty comes at a price. Once the duct tape is on, smoothing everything out- I'll look vixenish and gorgeous. A red-headed Marilyn (hah!). I make BFF start with the mummy wrap one more time.
"Every year in high school, we’d have this talent show, and every year I’d beg to sing “Defying Gravity” and every year they turned me down because I was a boy and they said it was a girl’s song; and every year I protested, saying that there are no lyrics that indicate gender specification whatsoever, but they’d still turn me down. And one day on set, Ryan Murphy told me he was coming up with a Kurt versus Rachel plotline, and for whatever reason, I started talking about this, and the next thing I know it was in the script. I think it’s a good story; the most terrifying thing was just actually getting to do “Defying Gravity” finally. I thought, Oh crap, I can’t mess this up!"
BOOM. (My head and my heart just exploded.)
This also made me realize how old I am. Colfer listened to Wicked religiously in high school (I love the idea that he may actually have an iPod Shuffle somewhere dedicated entirely to Wicked!), I saw the show well into my twenties. Sigh. Come here little one, I want to ruffle your adorable hair!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I am a chronic commercial avoider, particularly now that the Christmas commercials are now starting to pop up like pot plants in a stoner kid's dorm room closet. I will start every show about 10 minutes in so that I can fast forward through them. However, I stop and watch this commercial every time it comes on. I can't stop laughing! From Peyton Manning's "Fix that. It's disgusting." to JT's "YOU'RE disgusting!"... I haven't been this tickled since Kitten Mittens.
If BFF asks for something, I do it. So when BFF asked for a Storytime Countdown until I visit for New Moon, I was only happy to oblige. We're pretty funny, so I think everyone will enjoy it. If not, well, too bad. It's my blog and I'll post what I want.
Sooooo.... Storytime! We'll start at the beginning- the day BFF and I first met.
Imagine a tender, innocent Birv (Well. More innocent than I am now, anyway. Shut up! Why are you laughing?), her parents just having left after moving her into the dorm. My college fantasy of giggle-filled, slumber party nights with a popular, bouncy ponytailed, cheerleader-type roommate to bring me out of my cynical shell had just been dashed when my roommate Nancy showed up to our room (toting only two laundry bags of clothes and full-size fridge, by the by), and I honestly thought she was her brother. "Oh hey, you must be with Nancy. Aren't you a nice brother to bring that fridge up here?" "I AM Nancy." "oh...." (Not sure where my fantasy came from, as I knew that my alma mater was a gay haven from the college visit. My hag training started EARLY). Anyway, after a brief introduction, Nancy went off- and I'm not making any sort of stereotype joke, I swear to god it's true- to her very first softball practice, and I was left in my room alone.
Webster has some decent dorms- rather than have communal showers in the halls, the rooms are set up suite-style, with two rooms to a bathroom. Not to get overly familiar, but you know how when you're traveling, you're digestion gets a little... off? Well. The time comes for me. I gotta go. I had seen the blonde girl next door moving in with her parents, but, being too shy to do any more than wave, I hadn't spoken to her yet. But her door to the bathroom is open.
Seriously? This is my introduction? Awesome. But... I GOTTA GO. So I can either slam the door in her face without any explanation, or I can tell her why I'm closing the door. My thought process? How bitchy is that girl that just shut the door for no reason?! So the first words I ever speak to BFF are these: "I'm really sorry, and I want to make sure that you know that it's not because I don't want to get to know you, but I'm closing your bathroom door. Because, well, I have to go poop." (Yes, I'm a master of the overshare.)
The reason I know BFF and I were meant to be BFF's? Her response: "I'm so glad you're the first to poop here, because I didn't want it to have to be me!"
Friday, November 13, 2009
Yes, that Mel C. From Spice Girls. This is an old song, but I am currently listening to the cd's BFF made following our semester in London a crazy long time ago and swimming in a salty sea of memories. Don't ask how long ago we were in London, that's not polite.
Storytime!! Imagine BFF and I, sitting in our dorm room, quietly doing homework (well... BFF doing homework, I was probably reading Harry Potter and ignoring a mounting deadline) with the radio on. Cue Mel C's If That Were Me. BFF and I continue to be silent, both pretending we're not listening as the song gets increasingly ridiculous. Finally, as Mel C sings the best line of the song, "Is it your hope that keeps you warm?", BFF shouts out "No, but a fucking BLANKET might!" and goes back to reading without a further sentence.
This is a snapshot into the love I have for BFF.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Also... GAH! Aside from the new Serena-Boobs (Gossip Girl reference... HEY-O! By the way... threesomes? 18 year olds? Is this the new college thing?)... the woman is made from cocaine-covered matchsticks.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Oh, I think she did. That's right everyone, as I was at the Walgreens yesterday picking up toilet paper, what did I see in the aisle before me? Well.. Christmas decorations, but that's hardly the point. (Sidebar: can't we have Thanksgiving before we start rolling out the yard reindeer? PLEASE?) Anyway... I saw the Snuggie for Dogs. I think it's possibly the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen, but I have to say, it's probably the only thing that Daisy would ever wear. She frigging LOVES blankets. To have her very own? She'd look about as excited as that golden retriever does.
I sort of wish that they didn't pitch it as an alternative to the doggie sweater (props for the opening poem). I wish that they had the guts to say "Is your dog as lazy as you? (yes!) Do you both lay on the couch watching TV and reading all day? (Why...it's our idea of a perfect day!!) Let your dog waste away in the same comfort you do while you catch up back episodes of Eastwick and Ghost Whisperer!" Ok. That last part may be a little too targeted to me. But still. Better, no?
Buy my dog one here.
(Sidebar #2... is everyone as charmed as I am by the little dog falling asleep in its Snuggie? I could watch that all day! It looks so happy!)