Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
In case Burger King's overtly phallic sandwich ad wasn't enough high-calorie sexytime for you, Hardees has come up with two new ads for their Biscuit Holes. As you can imagine, late-night stoner humor ensues, proving that the advertising houses of today are one small step away from your local frat house common room.
Who wins? Burger King or Hardees? I vote for Burger King, for (dare I say it?) staying just thisside of subtle.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Best dance of the night, and not just because Mia Michaels is a strange, demanding, perfectionist goddess of a choreographer. The two dancing, Randi (who I did NOT love before last night) and Evan (who I DID love) just killed this. Dancing begins at 2:23.
The only sore spot for me? Who throws brand new LaBoutin shoes around?? Treat those puppies with respect!!
UPDATE: better quality video!! PS... that costume on Evan is really distracting. Hate it!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I have to say... I am on the verge of saying kudos to Burger King for just saying "screw you" to everyone that is on a health kick. Or a woman. In the past few years, Burger King has done the opposite of every other fast food chain and strived to make their food as unhealthy as possible. With the Super Seven Incher, BK may as well have flipped the bird at the Surgeon General and thrown lard in his face: "Healthy lifestyle? Fuck that noise!!"
Now if you'll excuse me, I have an overwhelming urge for sausage. No idea why.
Do you have huge knockers? Whether you got them from nature or from Dr. Feelgood, it doesn't matter, those of us with enormous melons can all be helped by today's questionable product, the Kush Support, designed to keep you from getting wrinkly cleavage. From the website:
"After comprehensive research and testing, Kush was developed as an anatomically contoured accessory offering both health and beauty benefits. Made from a lightweight plastic with a slip-resistant outer coating, Kush is uniquely designed to fit between the breasts to maintain a more natural shape while resting on your side. No straps, no underwires, no constraints, no adhesives and no garments needed - the slip-resistant surface and contoured shape help keep Kush in place as a woman rolls from one side to the other during sleep."
It's a little steep at $55, when I could just as easily shove a can of creamed corn in between the girls... but if the professionals at the best little whorehouse in Texas use them, I guess I probably should too! Seriously- what's with her pajamas? Does anyone actually sleep in things like that?
Product Site here!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
We're not upset at what you did, Kimberley, we're upset that you lied about it. Wow... did I just sound like my mother? I DID. Anyway, this prompted me to assemble a gallery of tattoos people will SURELY regret.
Not only do we have unicorns banging, one of them is smoking a cigarette. Class all the way!! I wonder if this is on a guy or a girl.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Oh, it's real. Check out the Product Site.
I can't imagine that this is all that "ergonomic"... my buttcheeks aren't 4 inches apart. Perhaps that's one of those "disadvantages" of being a big person that dude is talking about? Anyway, you're going to have wedge that thing in there.
Also... what disability do you imagine that classy WASP having that requires her to have someone else wipe her ass?
'But I explicitly said in my native tongue, French, and also in a little bit of English when he looked confused, that I wanted three little stars only near my left eye.'
'It is terrible for me,' said Kimberley. 'I cannot go out on to the street, I am so embarrassed. I just look horrible.'
Saturday, June 13, 2009
My fave for the night. Dancing begins at 2:02. Watch it before Fox shuts it down (they're funny about copyright infringement... forgetting that YouTube helps them gain viewers). PS, this is dress code for my birthday party next Saturday...dress accordingly.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Certainly not!!! But as my favorite dance from last night's So You Think You Can Dance hasn't been uploaded to YouTube (yet)... I am reliving what can only be described as my dream dance with BFF... and I think we both can agree that Alan Cumming would definitely still be a part of it.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
I got so excited by this I couldn't wait until Thursday to post it!! With the utterly non-sensical Chicago monsoon season, the brillo pad that is my current hairstyle, and the last episode of Pushing Daisies airing on Saturday (no!), I needed a little pick me up. What's better than Spontaneous Public Dancing?
PS- Check out the old Hammerdancer at :54. AWESOME!
Monday, June 8, 2009
I'm not sure why Cube Neighbor is walking around showing your dead body to people, I think it's a little crass. However, I made her clean you out of my fishbowl, so I suppose I traded your dignity for a way around my ick factor.
You were a good work pet... never complained, managed to stay alive over long weekends, even survived the swirling drain-bowl cleaning incident. You were a fighter till the end.
Via con Dios, mi amigo.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Oh, I love this. I LOVE IT. By the way, WHO IN THE HELL ASKS SOMEONE IF THEY'RE A TOP OR A BOTTOM?
Huzzah to Entertainment Weekly's Popwatch and Jennifer Armstrong- I'm totally with you; Scotty from Brothers & Sisters would totally be my gay best friend, though from reality tv world, I'm in love with Tyce DiOrio from So You Think You Can Dance, and he could hang out with me anytime.
I alternate between loving this (that guy's dancing!!) and bemusement at the reality that humans are mostly sheep. I especially love the people that rush over to be joiners AFTER THE SONG IS OVER.
Since this one makes me feel a little dirty inside for posting it, I have to also post my favorite dance from last year's So You Think You Can Dance... the actual dance starts at 1:19, and made me squeal with delight and text BFF: "BOLLYWOOD! THEY'RE DOING BOLLYWOOD!" PS... they pick the new top 20 tonight!! SPOILERS AFTER THE VIDEO...
I am at a total loss for who they're going to pick, most of my favorites from this tryout season were cut (some shockingly! Natalie?! WTF), so I don't even know who to root for.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Well it's a SLOW NEWS DAY!!! No craziness from celebrities (is it a winter thing?), no new shows (I refuse to admit that Mental is anything other than House minus pill addiction), what do you want from me?
Thusly, I give you a funny cat.
That's all until Dancing Thursdays tomorrow... I have MANY choices for tomorrow's post... which should be doubled after tonight's Vegas Week on So You Think You Can Dance. SOMEONE'S going to need an ambulance! (It's me!)
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
All reason to Live (Earth, as it is...)
Reply to:email@example.com [Errors when replying to ads?]Date: 2009-05-29, 12:50PM CDT
I lost it, my reason for living. My drive, my compassion, my self worth. I sit here, at this desk, knowing full well that my brain is turning to an even larger puddle of quivering nothing as we speak. Yes, in these troubled times, I should be grateful that I have a job. Here I am, 50 years old, attractive, single, realtively clean smelling!! And I have lost my reason for living!!! I am a sheep, a wanderer. Ever get off of the train in the morning, simply following th rest of the lost sheep through Chicago. Baa Baa, it could be worse. It could still be Janurary. Then it's the following of the frozen sheep, declaring, "When the fuck is it going to warm up?'. It did, but I still feel like a mindless sheep, following a line to drab, dull, desperate.
If it wasnt for the fifth in my desk, the hot messenger, and the fingertip vibrator in my desk drawer, I dont know what I would do. Jump I guess.
Location: Earth, as it is...
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Monday, June 1, 2009
Buy me one here!
The MTV Movie Awards debuted some clips important to the tween in me this weekend, and hello, Jailbait Jacob! It doesn't look like the acting is much improved, but I do appreciate that the camera isn't thisclose to Bella and Edward's face. Interesting...looks like Bella finds out about Jacob (BTW- happy tree friend snuggly?) much earlier.
Also- a new clip from Harry Potter! whee!!! I'm crazy excited, especially as this is pretty close to how I pictured this moment in the books.