Thursday, August 19, 2010

Your Career Is Like Watching Paint Dry

I'd understand this from Martha Stewart. Actually, I think she HAS a paint line. I think Cindy Crawford's furniture line is weird, though I don't find it hideous. There have been some successful "You're selling what, now?" spokeperson deals in the world.

But this... this is new. According to the Daily Mail, Claire Danes is a spokesperson for Valspar Paint. Bwahuh?

I like Claire Danes. She bears more than a passing resemblance to my friend Caitlin (always has, ever since My So-Called Life), I liked her in Shopgirl. She's nominated for an Emmy for a mini-series I've never seen about a woman I've never heard of; she got to celebrate in Rome, for god's sake! She had that whole teen alt-idol thing going (oh, Baz. I appreciate your Romeo & Juliet so much more now than I did when I was a surly teen), and she's married to this handsome, talented British guy:

So, with a stellar life like this, shouldn't she be representing something... I don't know... better? Oh right right... she does hock Latisse, that eyelash thing. Because her eyelashes are apparently a shameful body flaw she must correct. Short lashes! Fuck you, you're out of the biz, uggo!


Not better.

Or maybe she could've consider avoiding going the corporate route in the first place? She has Hollywood street cred. She's not a Kardashian (love Shoedazzle!).

Look at her, she's really hustling the stuff too:

I especially love the designer clothes and 4 inch stilettos- "why yes, I DO paint my house dressed like this! Paint never gets on me. I'm Claire Fucking Danes!"
It's as though you can see her really thinking- how the hell do I glamorize a PAINT BRUSH? It's sort of sad, in a weird, money-grubbing way.
Someone should talk to her publicist.


catfish said...

yeah what? i would think this is the kind of stuff lindsay lohan would have to do -- they are either paying her too much for her to say no or hollywood is not hiring gorgeous (because she looks like me, JUST KIDDING!!!) talented actresses right now, just slutty drug addicted ne'er-do-wells

Anonymous said...

I see no reason that Claire Danes shouldn't do something like this. She does a lot of small indie movies and theater which don't pay as well as big Hollywood blockbusters (she's done one or two of those but it's clearly not where her heart lies). So if she'd rather promote a product for a paycheck and act in projects that actually mean something to her for a littl less money, I say more power to her.