That's right, mo-fos. Today is International Left Handers Day! Forget being gay, black or a woman... you want to know what the real minority is? LEFTIES!! Seriously, have you ever tried to sign something with those stupid pens on a chain with your left hand? It NEVER reaches!
Don't even get me started on serrated knives.
Look out, though... we now have a gun club and a scholarship, so we're armed with knowledge AND a semi-automatic.
So go kiss your favorite lefty today! (Hint: It's me!)