Showing posts with label Sarah Palin is a moron. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarah Palin is a moron. Show all posts

Friday, November 7, 2008

Dear God, Let This Be True.


Given that it is coming from the Daily Mail, which has the journalistic gravitas of a Cheez-It, it may not be true, but hey. One can hope. While I hope that Sarah Palin was really a robot and de-activated her immediately after the concession speech, I also want to think that the GOP is blaming her for losing the election, and are taking their proverbial ball and going home. The Daily Mail reports:

The bitter McCain backlash against Sarah Palin continued today as it emerged that Republican Party lawyers were heading to Alaska to retrieve her $150,000 (£95,000) campaign clothes.
The vice-presidential candidate's hopes of challenging Barack Obama in 2012 took a big dent as simmering tensions with the McCain camp finally boiled over into wide-ranging criticism of her conduct.
In a string of damaging briefings, it was claimed that Mrs Palin had spent 'tens of thousands' more on her clothes than budgeted for, that she once met McCain aides dressed in nothing but a towel and that she did not know Africa was a continent.
She was also unable to name the nations in the vitally important North American Free Trade Agreement.
There are only three. Her own, its northern neighbour Canada and its southern neighbour Mexico.


I especially pray that she met John McCain in a towel once... it may explain her daughter getting knocked up. "This is how you get ahead in the world, baby girl!" It is also widely rumored that she had a concession speech of her own to give, and that McCain's advisors laid the smackdown on that idea. My own hope is they stuffed her mouth full of venison right before the speech and shoved her out on stage.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Americans are so tacky.


I'm blowing right by pundit fashion, and into political food. Introducing... candidate cookies! Now offering new flavors... the bitter stale stink of disappointment and the sweet sugary taste of hope.
If you're into biting the heads off of political leaders, or getting your rocks off at an Election Party, get em here.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Pundit Jewelry

What is it with us Americans and our need to adorn ourselves with the tackiest crap we can find? We think we're making a statement in support of our candidates, and yet it turns out we're merely making a statement to the world that we collectively ride the fashion shortbus.

First it was the Obama Belt, and now we have Obama hippie jewelry of the type I bought at Lollapalooza in 1993. Put it on some hemp and we're sure to have the support of the 6th grade demographic!


We also have some McCain jewelry, which I have to admit rocks my Obama Belt-less pants off, though I despise the subject matter. Something about the campiness is quite fitting... I am hoping the artist made this in an ironic way. Otherwise it only adds to the lameness. (To be truthful, she does have some things I would totally buy the BFF, so I am now PRAYING that these are ironic, because I want to like her! Here's where you can buy her stuff).
ZOMG she made Palin ones too!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Gosh Darn Ya, Joe...


So apparently Sarah Palin has seen Fargo, and decided that the best way to reach the Joe Six-Packs of the nation was to channel Marge Gunderson. Her home-spun, folksy "wisdom" made me want to barf.

I am perplexed by the GOP's insistence that the debate was a "win" for the VP candidate. I can only assume it's because they are relieved that the debate didn't resemble an episode of Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, and she ended up not having to point out where Iraq was on a world map. It's either that, or they assumed she would mistake Biden for a rogue wolf and try to shoot him as he took the stage, rip out and proceed to eat his still beating heart in an attempt to try and gain his power.

Regardless, party officials have intimated that Sally Oilhumper will not do any more interviews prior to the election. I can't imagine why.



Politics. Too. Depressing.

In order to survive, it is back to my florid fantasy life... I watched my Tivoed season premiere of Chuck yesterday. It was good... finally giving a plausible plot for why the government hasn't just built a new damn supercomputer already.

I can only hope that my sophomore season shows: Life, Pushing Daisies, Chuck, Reaper, my beloved Gossip Girl (no new episode this week-GASP!) survive... I think that a lot of them were hurt by the writer's strike last year. With as much as 10 months since we last saw some of these shows, I am concerned about whether or not people care about what's happening now.

Tonight is another smorgasboard of Tivo delight- most notably Ghost Whisperer. They hinted last season that someone's biting it this season! woot woot! I assume it's Professer Rick, since Jay Mohr's got that dumb looking new Gary UnMarried. I like you so much Jay. I just wish your agent got you more roles like 200 Cigarettes and Go. And yet no... you're voicing Leisure Suit Larry, probably without a sense of irony.