Some people volunteer, some people craft, I watch TV. I also (unsurprisingly) live alone, which means I have sole control over my remote. So, like last year, as the fall season approaches, I have made my absurdly detailed chart of new and returning shows. Since I'm an ego-maniac, I figured that OF COURSE you would all like to see it too. Since I refuse to get cable, these are all network shows. (Next year's Alan Ball/HBO collaboration The Miraculous Year could reverse my views on paying through the nose for cable in a heartbeat. My boyfriend Lee Pace is in it, so, YES.)
Of course, the midseason replacements will screw this whole schedule up. Until then, here are my 100 words or less, totally subjective reasons for watching.
The new shows are highlighted in green (except for Chuck. Apparently I'm REALLY excited about it!):
Lone Star: Fox is promoting the hell out of this one... cute guy is a con artist with, according to the previews, a fake hot girlfriend and a fake hot rich wife. Drama ensues. Dad looks like he's going to blow the whistle. I look like I'll be watching.
The Event: Since Flashforward and Lost are both off the air, I need something to spark my conspiracy loving heart. Government cover-ups that the president doesn't know about? Count me in... add Jason Ritter and Blair Underwood to the cast and I'll definitely give it a chance.
Hawaii 5-0: Oh, I'm excited. Daniel Dae Kim from Lost (somewhat related- this guy has to be like, the mayor of Hawaii. Every show he shoots is down there!), Alex O'Loughlin, potentially shirtless (I did like Moonlight), Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica... this is a cop procedural I can get behind!
Mike & Molly: Monday's kind of suck for choices, don't they? I have a dual-tuner Tivo, so I can tape 2 things at once, and still, it's like Sophie's Choice. Mike & Molly looks horrible, but I like to know why I hate things, so I may tune in to check it out. In case you haven't heard anything about it, it's about 2 people that meet in a weight-loss support group. So rest assured, crass fat jokes are sure to abound. hooray. I doubt that a primetime network sitcom will have the approach that a show like Drop Dead Diva will have, so I am sure that it will just be an ugly show. However, I really like Melissa McCarthy, so I'm hoping that there's some hidden depth to this show.
Running Wilde: Mitchell Hurwitz, the developer of Arrested Development, together (again!) with Will Arnett. I actually sort of found Sit Down, Shut Up funny (I think I may have been the only one), so I'm definitely willing to give this a try. I mean, come on. I don't care if Will Arnett plays Gob Bluth in every single thing he does for the rest of his life, I'll tune in. Plus, I discovered that I really liked Keri Russell in Waitress, even though I thought Felicity was melodramatic and dumb.
Undercovers: So it's Mr & Mrs Smith for tv. It has JJ Abrams attached! He did the Star Trek reboot! AND LOST! Abrams has great success with action and tv (Alias), so I think this isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Hellcats: Ummm.. CW teenybopper show about cheerleading. Need I say more? BFF will be pleased to note that Sharpay from High School Musical will be in it.
Shit My Dad Says: Yeah, I'll say the REAL title. William Shatner, who for some reason really reminds me of my dad, is in it. I love William Shatner (Rocket Man, anyone?). I find the Twitter funny. Sitcom? Probably will be stupid, but I'll give it a try, even though Thursdays at 7:00 are another infuriating traffic jam of awesome. Sorry Community and Vampire Diaries, I'll have to catch you online. again.
Body Of Proof: Well, Friday was kind of light. So why not try out a crime procedural? Dana Delany is in it, and I really liked her guest star turn on Castle- she was smart, witty, and worked well as an FBI agent. This time around she'll be a neurosurgeon turned medical examiner, but you know, dead bodies are dead bodies.
Blue Bloods: Another cop series. Apparently Americans LOOOOOVE their cop serials. Along with all the others that are returning, there are at least 7 more that are premiering this fall. But wait... this one has Donnie Wahlberg and Tom Selleck, my friends. Yeah, I thought you'd say that. Worth a look, right?
Outlaw: Supreme Court, Jimmy Smits, Jay Mohr (yay!)...I'm interested enough to tape it on a night where almost literally nothing else is on.
Top Picks:
Hawaii 5-0: I think Alex O'Laughlin may have found a show that will stick around for a while- nostalgia runs high for this show and people love cop shows. This may be a winner.
Undercovers: JJ Abrams is revered in the tv community, it seems, and for good reason. His shows are original, smart and flashy. Add two incredibly good looking stars, and this will probably have a good run.
Hellcats: CW never seems to give up on a show, and why would you? It looks stupid and fun.
Want to make your own overly-detailed and somewhat pathetic tv schedule yourself? Check out TVGuide.com for listings.
