Showing posts with label MASKS ARE TERRIFYING. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MASKS ARE TERRIFYING. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I See What You're Doing.


I need your help, guys. I'm pretty sure AlsoBeth is trying to kill me.  First, she sent me the picture above over the weekend, changing my peaceful Saturday afternoon into a riot of tears and hiding in the closet.

Now, she sends me an email with this link, with this seemingly benign comment: "a little something to brighten??? your day."

WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU??!?!?!?!  Here's a sampling of what she sent me...

Normally the scariest dolls to me are the ones that are unmanipulated; inherently scary by their very design, like that goddamned stoma doll in the middle there. BFF's big-eye dolls, her Blythe collection, scares the crap out of me. They seem like they know something.  Like maybe where the knives are kept downstairs.  However, I have to add that last one to the list of dolls that will haunt me forever. What are those teeth from?  Is this some sort of cannibal baby? 

I'm unsure as to AlsoBeth's motives for terrorizing me, but I have a theory.  I think she wants to establish Total Beth Dominance.  Maybe it's like that movie Highlander, and she'll absorb all my knowledge by destroying me.  I'll have the last laugh if that's the case... all she'll be adding to her brain arsenal is an unhealthy amount of Big Lebowski quotes and a carnival organ song playing on a constant loop in her head.


Friday, August 19, 2011

School Time

We (meaning me) like to educate here at Fonzipan. Knowledge is power.  So this post goes out to Big Bro and Sissy.

Furries:

Furbies:


Once more.

Furries:


Furbies:


This is why I'm afraid of mascots.  ALSO... why I refuse to rent costumes.


Friday, October 29, 2010

I AM NOT YOUR MONKEY!!!

Here is a picture of Kennedy, wearing part of Big Bro's costume last night. She looks so pissed!!!!

Reason #4278 Why Our Family Shouldn't Have Children... Sissy, you may consider living things your own personal dolls, but I couldn't call Child Services on you- this is way too funny to me.

I hope everyone has some great Halloween plans this weekend, and if there are any pictures I deem attractive enough, I will happily post some of me as a gnome. I just found out Big Bro is a fairy and Sissy is Peter Pan, so apparently we'll have some gender-queer fairyland going on tomorrow.
Happy Halloween, and may you never cross paths with this terrifying creature.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

HA! That's What You Get for Wearing That Scary-Ass Mask.




Y'all know how I feel about masks. I could barely stand to post this. But then...