Saturday, January 17, 2009

F#*K My Life.

A Saturday evening blog post from Birv? Crazy... especially considering how busy I thought my weekend was going to be. However, the reason behind being home this Saturday night is too embarrassing NOT to share.

I've spoken about Pseudograndma standing me up before, now she's really punching me in the gooch. As I call this afternoon to confirm our plans to see an Ibsen play at the Museum of Contemporary Art tonight, Pseudograndma exclaims, "Oh jeez. Is that tonight? What do you think, should we give it up? It's awfully cold."

She's right, it's cold, and getting to the MCA from where I live is no easy feat- you either have to scrabble for one of the few parking spots not covered in the 12 inches of snow on the ground, or you have to take the Blue line south, and then either wait forEVER for the Chicago Ave bus, or alternatively go 3 stops farther into the loop, switch to the red line, go BACK up to the Gold Coast and then walk from whatever stop gets you closest. Whoopee. Certainly not worth it for Pseudograndma to attempt, when she's just going to nap in the theater anyway.

We agree to call our plans off, and have a bit of small talk- it's been a few months since I've last seen her. My biggest news is that my dog has eaten yet another set of my bed pillows. She has news, she tells me. Oh yes, she has news. However, she can't tell me, she whispers, "until the news leaves". Then she giggles.

Sweet Ecclesiastes, Pseudograndma has a man. Frantically trying to sweeping away visions of old person sex, I get off the phone as quick as humanly possible. Then I realize that I've been blown off by an 83 year old woman SO THAT SHE CAN HANG OUT WITH A GUY.

I, on the other hand, will play some Freecell and watch videos of Mystery Science Theater 3000 on Youtube. Maybe I'll take a bath and try to keep from drowning myself in it.

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