The Double Down... When You've Just Given Up.

Behold the KFC Double Down. Kudos to KFC for taking the FatAss crown from Burger King by openly admitting that bread is for suckers when it comes to making a sandwich. How drunk do you have to be to not be ashamed to order this?

Then again, according to a study I saw on my elevator tv this morning, people that are 80 pounds or more overweight are more likely to die 3-12 years sooner than those of a normal weight. Seriously... look at it here at USA Today. So I'm busting my ass to die at 80 instead of 92.

Screw that noise. It's not like I get to be 22 again... so I miss 12 years of osteoporosis and Medicare. BFD! Double Down... I'm coming for your cheesy embarrassment! Look out!

Image from Food Geekery.com

OH NOES!!!!! Celebrity Style

Kim Kardashian, after a hard day's...work? Yeah, we'll go with work.

Morrissey at the Coachella Festival... apparently the Grandaddy of EMO eats his feelings as much as I do...

My Amy... with a hella-giant burn on her leg from "cooking pasta" (read: meth lab mishap). Also, according to the Daily Mail, Amy is considering moving to St. Lucia in order to adopt some of the local children. All I can say is, if her house is made of gingerbread, run. RUN CHILDREN! BEFORE SHE FEEDS AGAIN!!

Seriously...What Is Wrong With People In Florida?

A woman in Florida called 911 three times, after being told that her McDonald's ran out of McNuggets today, according to the Chicago Tribune:

"According to a police report, 27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.She says employees refused to give her a refund, saying all sales were final. A cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate."

By the way, does this say she paid for these nuggets LAST WEEK?! WTF? I can't tell if that's just shoddy grammar and the event happened last week, or if she paid last week and is claiming her nuggets today.

In Latreasa's defense, I can see a certain loyal Fonzipan reader (who shall go nameless) getting this upset if someone gets between her and her fried gizzards at Brown's Chicken. I made that mistake once. I now type with one hand.

EDIT: The 911 calls. Blog bless Youtube.