This App Is Already On My Phone.

Why Yes, That Is Jon Hamm and I.

Sharing a lovely drink, discussing how awesome my dress is, and that it is, in fact, possible to float by a bar stool. What's that? You'd like to join us? By all means. Mad Men Yourself here.

ZOMG Could There Really Be a Renesmee On the Way?

According to Australia's New Weekly (because Australia has its thumb on the pulse of pop culture), Kristen Stewart got knocked up by Robert Pattinson.

An "insider" quoted by Australia's New Weekly says, "When [Stewart] worked out she was late, she obviously started to thinking that she could be pregnant. And because of the timing, she thinks Rob could be the father."
The gossip mag also reports she had a friend buy a home pregnancy test for her, and that she is "very nervous about the whole situation."

While there's a part of me that hopes they're getting it on like rabbits in a Sybaris... Australia is breaking this story? Really?

I love how they state that she thinks Rob could be the father... like she's the biggest slut to hit the streets since Jenna Jameson.

Now if you'll all excuse me, I'm late for my meeting with the Pope. He's marrying Bradley Cooper and I this weekend, after which Braddles and I will fly away on the wings of a pegasus to dine on raindrops and cotton candy at the top of a rainbow. Lots to plan! Kisses!


Via New York Daily News.

Food = Sex: Innuendo Throwdown!

In case Burger King's overtly phallic sandwich ad wasn't enough high-calorie sexytime for you, Hardees has come up with two new ads for their Biscuit Holes. As you can imagine, late-night stoner humor ensues, proving that the advertising houses of today are one small step away from your local frat house common room.

Who wins? Burger King or Hardees? I vote for Burger King, for (dare I say it?) staying just thisside of subtle.

Burger King: Mecca of Tasteful Innuendo

Frankly, I'm surprised that the word "blow" wasn't in a different color, or in bigger font size than the rest of the tagline and mayonnaise wasn't dripping from the poor girl's mouth.

I have to say... I am on the verge of saying kudos to Burger King for just saying "screw you" to everyone that is on a health kick. Or a woman. In the past few years, Burger King has done the opposite of every other fast food chain and strived to make their food as unhealthy as possible. With the Super Seven Incher, BK may as well have flipped the bird at the Surgeon General and thrown lard in his face: "Healthy lifestyle? Fuck that noise!!"

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an overwhelming urge for sausage. No idea why.