Tuesday, November 4, 2008

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Polls...

Actually, it happened AT the polls. I broke the touch-screen poll! Excited about my civic duty, I roll in to my polling location at 7 am, and an abnormally chipper polling assistant (I think we'll call her Mitzi) gets me VERY excited about the joys of the new touch-screen voting methods. Mitzi gives me a little hotel-room keycard and points me toward one of two touch-screen booths. I sit down and push my voter card in until it goes "click", just like the directions tell me to. I select English as my primary language, and suddenly the computer spits out my card and tells me to get a polling assistant. Mitzi's busy, but Chet comes over to help me (equally chipper for 7 am) and can't help, so he gets Barb. Barb brings over 4 keycards, and none of them work, the screen is frozen. So I have to use the strange new "Scantron Matching Quiz" paper ballot... which is fine. I just hope that I don't end up on the news tonight for somehow being counted as a double vote. I just said I wanted the touch screen in English! I swear!

I'm worried about the whole touch-screen thing anyway... I somehow feel that both these votes and the early votes will somehow be discounted by the Republicans... why not drag out that old boat again? It's worked twice before. It is a strange testament to American society that individuals can more successfully vote for the next American Idol with more ease and vigor than for our next Commander-In-Chief.

There may be a special "evening" Fonzipan post tonight- either applauding the onset of "the Golden Age" of Obama and the rise of far left politics, or saying my farewell as I begin my quest for Canadian citizenship. Hello socialized healthcare! You're all welcome to visit me and I swear I'll do my best to get you medicine.

Sadly, no Chuck last night. Happily, I DID get to update myself on Gossip Girl, which is always a plus. Those crazy kids on Gossip Girl have me hooked! Chuck Bass denying sex?? Blair doing the right thing?? Jenny Humphrey hosting a guerilla fashion show? Nate macking on a 15 year old? By the way, he's only supposed to be 17, so I don't see why Dan has such a problem with it. Apparently his sluttiness is good enough for BFF Vanessa. Sextacular! Incidentally, kudos to the GG execs for extreme use of eyeliner on Jenny. Nothing shows a tv character's descent into Go Ask Alice territory better than raccoon eyes. You just KNOW she's hanging with the wrong crowd now!
I have to discuss my disgust that tomorrow's Pushing Daisies has been pre-empted by Dancing With the Stars. Apparently, most of America would rather see Cloris Leachman break a hip.

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