Y'arrr, There Be a Newly Minted Tharrrrty Year Old!

BFF's birthday extravaganza was a goddamn delight of a time. Laser tag is my new favorite pastime. I am considering buying a set for myself, though I'd probably have to slap the other set on Daisy to avoid annoying all my close friends, who would inevitably grow weary of my constant requests for games and Pirish jabber. But the Doodle's pretty sly, despite the lack of opposable thumbs. I imagine she'd make a good opponent.

Shockingly, I didn't get a good picture of the Stormtrooper shirt, a devastating oversight that will shortly be remedied. The shirt, however, garnered rave reviews and copious boob comments, most made by BFF in a clever attempt to draw attention to the girls by Cincinnati Imaginary Boyfriend. Well played, BFF. Your scheming loyalty is delicious.

Should you ever venture to Cincinnati, please pay a visit to The Pirate’s Den, officially the best bar ever, particularly in which to play a Scavenger Hunt. Tiger head on the wall? Check. Pregnant lady swilling High Life? Check. BRIDAL PARTY? Double check. Man… I could have shut this place DOWN… particularly because buying a round of four drinks cost roughly $8.

Like any vacationer worth her salt, I give you a moderated slide show, including a Fonzipan First... a picture of me! Enjoy it while it lasts.

The Pirate's Den. To visit is to love it. Cupake Armada! I'll have you know BFF and I made each flag by hand. 48 of them. Suck on that, Martha Stewart!

Birv and BFF... together at last for a birthday! This is the first time we've ever been able to spend birthdays together. As it should be, the event was celebrated with crafting and glitter. Please note the eyepatches.

More Questionable Hair Removal Commercials

Oh Gillette. What's your deal? Of course, I sit here writing about it, so I suppose that means you're marketing is totally effective. Sigh. The sacrifices I make as a blogger. At least we have some equality in this ad! It's about time that manscaping was addressed on a wide scale. IT'S APPRECIATED, FELLAS.

Clearly, I took a little bloggy vacation this week (no Dancing Thursdays! gasp!), but I'll make up for it a little today. Lots to post!!!

I've Found a New Sport.

I need to figure out how to get to Norway by 2011, STAT. The last World Beard and Moustache Championship just finished over the Memorial Day weekend, and the next one isn't for 720 DAYS. The countdown begins now.

There are three main categories, Moustaches, Partial Beards and Full Beards... and there are sub categories in each (Partial Beard competition categories include the FuManchu and Alaskan Whaler). A lot of thought is put into each category:

"Discerning fans will notice that the categories are heavily weighted toward upper-lip hair, with fully eight of the categories featuring various forms of moustaches, although two of these categories (FuManchu and Musketeer) are included within the "partial beards" subdivision."

Any championship in which someone has a better beard than the guy above has to be an amazing spectator event. I dream of bringing bubblegum and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to these guys.

Visit the official website here.

Special thanks to PopWatch for brightening my first day back from vacation with this little gem, and for asking the most pertinent question: why isn't this on ESPN2?

BFF Birthday Extravaganzapalooza Two: Electric Boogaloo!

As you may or may not know, tomorrow is BFF's birthday... which allows for ample Dancing Thursday Fodder. This may be a blowout of BFF-inspired Dancing Thursday clips...she's having a rough day. Let's all give a little love to the BFF.

OH HELL TO THE NO.

V is back. This tv show scared the CRAP out of me when I was a little kid. Wanna know why I'm terrified of masks? THIS SHOW!! People ripping their faces off to show reptile heads underneath? Who WOULDN'T be traumatized by this?

Now I'm obligated to watch, Alan Tudyk and Morena Baccarin from Firefly are in it, as well as Elizabeth Mitchell from Lost. AND IT LOOKS LIKE ALAN TUDYK'S FACE GETS RIPPED OFF. When this airs, and you can't find me for a few days, look in the back of one of my closets. I'll be there, huddled in fear. And probably smelly. And definitely demanding that you show me you can't rip your face off.

And For Those of You Who Couldn't Give a Rip About Glee...

I give you Spidercat.

Glee... How Do I Love Thee?

What are you a part of that brings you joy? If something makes you happy in an otherwise mundane existence, does it matter what other people think about it?

Between texts with BFF (IF YOU DON’T LIKE THIS SHOW YOU AREN’T MY FRIEND ANYMORE!), I couldn’t stop squealing with delight over how much I loved this show.

So much happened in the pilot of Glee that it felt much longer than an hour. Songs! A capella interludes of classic music (you haven’t lived until you’ve heard Quincy Jones’ "Soul Bossa Nova" Glee style)! Jane Lynch, pitch perfect as the hyper-competitive cheerleading coach, yelling about hepatitis!

Potentially cliché characters are given depth and humanity. Rachel Berry, a would-be starlet with all the Machiavellian eagerness of Election’s Tracy Flick, is given a background shown during her audition solo, “On My Own” from Les Mis. As her star-quality voice rings out, the audience sees just how unpopular Rachel really is- cyberbullied, drinks thrown in her face, spending more time on MySpace than with real people. Finn, a fresh-faced jock (that TOTALLY would have been my freshman year crush from afar) reveals that he’s so eager to please everyone because he watched his mother’s heart get broken time and time again.

Storylines are real- setting up an early flirtation between the upstanding family-man/Spanish teacher/Glee Club chaperone Will and Germophobe/Nutritionist Emma will surely add weight to what could have been a flighty teen series.

This is so much more than a “musical”. All I can say is when it comes out fully this fall, you better watch it, or we may have to have a talk about our friendship.

This show may even bring back a Cubs fan’s affection for Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'”.

PS- Since this IS Fonzipan, I couldn't NOT post a little Amy...