Go Incognito, Itchy

Oh Etsy, you never cease to amaze me with your world of weirdness. This is probably one of the funniest knitted things I have ever seen. It looks oddly comforting, though I would probably break out in a hideous rash.

What do you say we all get one, and then start a posse? We could become Dr. Suess-like outlaws.

Buy your's here, in a variety of colors.

Screw You, R-Pattz... I've Totally Moved On.

BFF's friend Dave has had this as his profile pic on The Downfall of Society for a few days, and I have been so dumbfounded by it that I am just getting around to posting about it now.

Hello Sailor!!!!

I love True Blood anyway... but this cover cemented it. Love you, Alexander Skarsgard. Wow. I also don't mind you talking about how you like to be naked. Puts thoughts in a gal's mind.

Just showing why this show totally trumps Twilight (and we all know how I feel about Twilight). Notice I mentioned the SHOW, but not the books. They aren't...good. But hey, when Alan Ball gets his mitts on something, it's bound to be good.

Look how awesomely snarky he is in his interview:

"The idea of celibate vampires is ridiculous. To me, vampires are sex. I don't get a vampire story about abstinence."

And on alienating a core vampire fan-base: "I'm 53. I don't care about high school students. I find them irritating and uninformed."

Well said, sir!!! I couldn't agree more. Now I'm going to go grab a bottle of wine, my snuggie and have some private time with my Season 2 dvd's.

I Love Cats I Don't Live With

That Was... Predictable.

In a twist that surprises no one, Kimberley Vlaminck (that impulsive little imp with 56 stars on tattooed on her face) has now admitted that she was a damn dirty liar that blames other people for her problems.

According to the Daily Mail, Vlaminck told a Dutch TV crew that she adored the stars when she first got them, but her father was furious when he saw what his fool daughter did, so like any overprivileged teenager worth her salt, she lied to the world and got someone else in trouble. Get this girl into politics!!!

We're not upset at what you did, Kimberley, we're upset that you lied about it. Wow... did I just sound like my mother? I DID. Anyway, this prompted me to assemble a gallery of tattoos people will SURELY regret.

Not only do we have unicorns banging, one of them is smoking a cigarette. Class all the way!! I wonder if this is on a guy or a girl.

Who wouldn't want a picture of Toothless Mary and her appendix scar on their arm? What a way to give a shout-out to the town hooker.

Now, I love this movie. I do NOT, however, love it enough to immortalize it on my calf. It also took me several moments to realize that's not a brain at the bottom, but a tot.

That WoW stat bar will be "LVL Down" in 20 years time.

Actually, I love this one. I can't even think of how to describe how much I love LOL Jesus.

This is one of several variations I found on the "butthole" tattoo. Yes! Your belly button looks like a butt! Way to go... that's permanent.

Naked, bucktoothed Indian riding a corndog. Welp... if you're getting a stupid tattoo, you may as well go balls-out.

You may be, but your tattoo artist is not... "awsome".

That is serious dedication to the Frosty. I love me some Dunkin's, but I'm not getting "America Runs" needled into my ass.

The Comfort Wipe: Because You're a Filthy, Filthy Creature.

Oh, it's real. Check out the Product Site.

I can't imagine that this is all that "ergonomic"... my buttcheeks aren't 4 inches apart. Perhaps that's one of those "disadvantages" of being a big person that dude is talking about? Anyway, you're going to have wedge that thing in there.

Also... what disability do you imagine that classy WASP having that requires her to have someone else wipe her ass?

Time to Retire the Term"My Gays".

Oh, I love this. I LOVE IT. By the way, WHO IN THE HELL ASKS SOMEONE IF THEY'RE A TOP OR A BOTTOM?

Huzzah to Entertainment Weekly's Popwatch and Jennifer Armstrong- I'm totally with you; Scotty from Brothers & Sisters would totally be my gay best friend, though from reality tv world, I'm in love with Tyce DiOrio from So You Think You Can Dance, and he could hang out with me anytime.

More Questionable Hair Removal Commercials

Oh Gillette. What's your deal? Of course, I sit here writing about it, so I suppose that means you're marketing is totally effective. Sigh. The sacrifices I make as a blogger. At least we have some equality in this ad! It's about time that manscaping was addressed on a wide scale. IT'S APPRECIATED, FELLAS.

Clearly, I took a little bloggy vacation this week (no Dancing Thursdays! gasp!), but I'll make up for it a little today. Lots to post!!!

I've Found a New Sport.

I need to figure out how to get to Norway by 2011, STAT. The last World Beard and Moustache Championship just finished over the Memorial Day weekend, and the next one isn't for 720 DAYS. The countdown begins now.

There are three main categories, Moustaches, Partial Beards and Full Beards... and there are sub categories in each (Partial Beard competition categories include the FuManchu and Alaskan Whaler). A lot of thought is put into each category:

"Discerning fans will notice that the categories are heavily weighted toward upper-lip hair, with fully eight of the categories featuring various forms of moustaches, although two of these categories (FuManchu and Musketeer) are included within the "partial beards" subdivision."

Any championship in which someone has a better beard than the guy above has to be an amazing spectator event. I dream of bringing bubblegum and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to these guys.

Visit the official website here.

Special thanks to PopWatch for brightening my first day back from vacation with this little gem, and for asking the most pertinent question: why isn't this on ESPN2?