Are You Sure You Want to Invite This Guy Over For Drinks?

Gliese 581D is a planet about 20 light years away in the Libra constellation (groovy, baby!), and is a planet that scientists postulate could possibly support life. Whether it's punch through your stomach and eat your brains life or ET phone home life, well, they just aren't sure.

So why not invite the general population to write messages to whatever may be living on Gliese 581D? HelloFromEarth.net is a site that does just that, switching messages from the public into binary code and will beam them to outerspace, at which time we will shortly become a slave race.

The messages range from the clinically depressed to the totally stoned to the pretty awesome, some of my favorites are below:

When you come here make sure you get a copy of all Britney Spears albums, you're going to love them.
Victor Julio Galicia
Barquisimeto, Venezuela

You are cordially invited to an Interplanetary BBQ. 6.00pm, 4th October, 2452 at my place BYO Meat and Beer. RSVP: Year 2100 Cheers
Daniel Edmonds
Melbourne, Australia

Greetings from the Caribbean! It's warm and great here. Visit and we'll show you a great time, drinks and spicy food! Please bring own towel & sunblock though.
Anthony De Castro
St Joseph, Trinidad and To

Dear aliens, Please disregard those transmissions featuring Hitler. They're from a few years back and nobody really liked him anyway.
Alex
Chicago, United States

Hi-dilly, ho-dilly, neighboreenos!
Ned Flanders
Perth, Australia

Hi hi, my housemate has given up on all males on our planet. If you have half a brain and something to prod her with, she'll be pleased to meet you. Toodles,
D.Darren
Melbourne, Australia

Hello Aliens. Do you have genetalia? I hope so.
Erica
Melbourne, Australia

Hi We kill each other, destroy our own environment and value material objects more than each other. Yours, hoping for a better future,
Claire
Dulwich Hill, Australia

We need help, we are being destroyed by leaders whos only concern is lining their own pockets, assuming you can read english. Greetings
Adam Pronaszko
Borehamwood, Australia

We are destroying our planet, and are too selfish to stop. We need your help. Please come quickly.
Ted Catchpole
Canberra, Australia

Heads up: on our planet, it is considered rude to introduce yourself to new neighbours without offering delicious cake or a hamper of edible goods.
Tegan Lyons
Sydney, Australia

Hello from Earth, please visit. We have cookies.
Chris Hully
Ottawa, Canada

'ssup bros? I'm a libra too. Respect.

MattHobart, Australia

You don't understand any Earth language let alone English so it doesn't matter what I write.
Scoby Watson
Sydney, Australia

Our planet's idea of Miss Universe is thin, dumb blondes. Perhaps you can diversify the pool.
Dorothy
sydney, Australia

Hello there my children, It has been long since my father created you in his image and I died for your sins here on earth. I look forwards to reconnecting.
Jesus Christ
Behind the pearly gates, Australia

If your planet really exists, has the Creator revealed Himself to you? He has to us here on Earth. His Name is Jesus Christ.Trevor HoltBalgownie, Australia

Hello. You may be nearer the angels and God. Please ask them to heal my son Peter and to make his life happy. Kim CupplesKim CupplesYuba City, United States

Well, If You Can Trick Out Your Wedding Cake...

I don't really think of mortality all that often. However, perhaps it's due to yet another gray day, perhaps it's because I'm hitting a milestone birthday, hey- maybe it's even because Murray kicked it on my desk the other day. Meh...maybe it's just because I found these two websites and thought they were absurd.

At any rate, I think it's time to discuss how we want our remains handled once we shuffle off this mortal coil. Last thing I want is to be flushed down the toilet, Murray-style.

I have stumbled upon a few new options, namely the Star Trek line by Eternal Images. That's the urn up there... pretty sleek. However, if you look closely, you can see the reflection of someone's suburban house in the ball... is Trekkie Uncle Alfred now lawn art? Eternal Images ALSO has Precious Moments (gag) and MLB themed products. Well, why be generic?

Here's the casket... pretty fit for being shot into the final frontier, a la Captain Kirk. (Die with your boots on!)

However, if you're looking to be slightly more functional, you could always become a LifeGem (because love lives on)... a "certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of the one you love". I'm not sure how I feel about this idea... on one hand, hooray! I'm sparkly! On the other... WTF?!

Take a look at the website, I find it a completely morbid hoot... especially the sepia-toned "happy family" pictures used in the ads... especially the Dad-With-Son-On-Shoulders. Who the heck is supposed to be the dead one in this scenario? You can also make your pet into a LifeGem (because love lives on) if you so desire. This is definitely a step above one of my co-workers, who had her cat stuffed and, I shit you not, BROUGHT IT TO WORK.

I wonder if Murray could have been a LifeGem if I hadn't had him flushed down the toilet.

How would you like to be laid to rest? I have to say I'm thinking pajamas and a Snuggie... Dunkin Donut in one hand and a Harry Potter book in the other.

All Hail the Return of Star Trek!

Key inclusions for any successful sci-fi film:

1. Impending doom on a globally recognized monument (Golden Gate Bridge go boom!).

2. Barren planets (for a minute I could have SWORN we were on Hoth).

3. Protagonist/Antagonist duel above an inexplicably vast drop... inside a ship.

4. Vaginal creeper monster (hello, facehugger from Alien. I'm looking at you).

5. Quasi-annoying, family-friendly creature sidekick (Jar-Jar). Thank blog JJ Abrams made this one a mute.

The new Star Trek has them all, friends and lovers, along with a healthy dose of self-awareness. There are enough jokes at the expense of the original series to show that EVERYONE realizes the campy background from whence the legend sprung (Kirk getting busy with a green-skinned alieness? check.).

However, while there are plenty of insider Trekkie jokes to be had, this truly is the Star Trek for everyone. Abrams and company reinvent the backstory with clever use of time travel and alternate realities (I swear, there IS a Lost tie-in to be had), creating a plot that allows everyone to start at chapter one.

Nero, a Romulan with severe space paranoia has declared vengeance on Spock for an act he commits in the future. Waiting patiently, Nero and his big, spidery ship jump through a worm-hole, altering the events in the lives of our key members of the Enterprise crew. Surprisingly, the time travel is not the main plot arc, but merely the vehicle in which Abrams allows the creation of his Starfleet universe to exist. Naturally, the main plot arc is bringing down the big baddy Nero, and fun, fights and phasers ensue.

The actors look just enough like the original characters that it is believable that they could grow up to look like Shatner and Nimoy, though there was a point at which I started to mourn my youth, looking at these fresh young faces. And I'm not yet 30. It's almost like the cast of Gossip Girl stormed the bridge.

All in all, Sequels are imminent, and I must say, in this case, I'm actually looking forward to them.

PS- told you the facehugger looked like a scary vagina.

Beam Me Up... TO DANCING!

The new Star Trek comes out tomorrow, so you had to know today's Dancing Thursday was going to have an ST theme. I couldn't eat just one!!

On the one hand, Patrick Stewart is possibly the coolest man on earth, and Next Generation WAS my show (Wesley Crusher!! le sigh...), but on the other, a remix of Spock and Kirk...DANCING?

I love all my children equally. I had to post them both.

This Is Not Your Father's Star Trek...

Except it IS, because my dad is just as stupidly excited about the new Star Trek movie as I am. Anyway... check out this lil' Romulan piece of sexy!! She agrees that Fonzipan is the best site she has ever read, but sadly, I couldn't get the widget to embed. So all you get to do is gaze at her loveliness.

Do it Star Trek style and Trek Yourself HERE.